NFL ANALYTICS
FOR FOOTBALL SICKOS
League-wide dashboards, player cards, and drive analytics without the sports-talk noise. Built by a Packers fan. Built for anyone who actually watches the tape.
01 // THE_SYSTEMS
DRIVE_TRACKER
The heartbeat of the offense. Track every game with a complete execution log, win probability shifts, tempo metrics, and personnel groupings per drive.
- > WIN_PROB_SHIFT
- > DRIVE_TEMPO
- > EXECUTION_LOG
- > EPA_CHARTING
PLAYER_CARD
Deep-dive scouting cards for NFL skill players. Pass, rush, and receiving splits with year-over-year context and percentile benchmarks.
- > MULTI_POS_SUPPORT
- > YOY_TRENDS
- > WEEKLY_SPLITS
- > PERCENTILE_DOTS
TEAM_PERFORMANCE
League-wide team dashboards. Compare all 32 teams on offense and defense with EPA, success rate, and situational splits across the season.
- > OFF_DEF_EPA
- > SUCCESS_RATE
- > LEAGUE_RANKINGS
- > SITUATIONAL_SPLITS
FRANCHISE_PERFORMANCE
The long view. Franchise history and era-over-era trends back to 1999 — wins, scoring, and performance arcs for every team.
- > HISTORICAL_TRENDS
- > ERA_COMPARISONS
- > FRANCHISE_ARCS
- > SINCE_1999
PROFESSOR'S_BANKROLL
Every pick logged before kickoff. Every loss shown in full. A public NFL betting transparency experiment — not a picks service, not financial advice. Just the numbers.
- > FULL_PICKS_LOG
- > RUNNING_P/L_CHART
- > ROI_BY_BET_TYPE
- > ALWAYS_FREE
BEAT_THE_PROFESSOR
Pick game winners each week and see where you land on the leaderboard versus the Professor's model. He's been wrong before — publicly, on the record, with receipts.
- > WEEKLY_PREDICTION_FORM
- > LIVE_LEADERBOARD
- > PROFESSOR_PICKS_INCLUDED
- > WEEK_1_OPEN_TO_ALL
02 // THE_GLOSSARY
New to advanced NFL stats? Every metric on this site is explained below — EPA, Win Probability, CPOE, and more. No jargon left undefined.
03 // THE_TEAMS
All 32 NFL teams. Offensive EPA/play, drive TD%, and season records — computed from nflverse play-by-play, no yards-per-play fluff.
04 // THE_DIFFERENCE
NOT A BETTING SITE
Sick of NFL algorithms telling you who to bet on? We are too. Our dashboards are engineered for understanding the game, studying matchups, and analyzing execution. No parlays, just football.
SIGNAL OVER NOISE
We skip the engagement-bait hot takes and skip straight to the EPA shifts. Expect high-density data, smart aesthetic constraints, and metrics that actually map to what happened on the field.
LEAGUE-WIDE SICKOS
Yes, we lean Green Bay. But our ETL pipeline processes all 32 teams. Whether you are studying the Chiefs' secondary or the Bears' offensive woes, the terminal has the tape backed up by the numbers.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE LAB
Get access to new NFL dashboards, player trend breakdowns, weekly data notes, and weird football analysis straight to your inbox.
04 // FAQ_DATABASE
> Do I need to be a Packers fan to use this?
Absolutely not. The site is built by a fan who watches Green Bay tape, which is why the aesthetic has a cheddar-tinted accent, but all of our data covers the entire NFL. You can track drives and players for all 32 franchises.
> What data powers the site?
We run heavy Python ETL pipelines against public NFL play-by-play data, Next Gen Stats (NGS) derivatives, and open-source models like `nflverse`. We translate raw events into structured, readable insights.
> What kinds of tools are available?
Right now, you can explore the Drive Tracker (play-by-play execution, win probability, tempo) and the Player Card (advanced scouting metrics for QBs, WRs, RBs, and TEs). More dashboards, including Franchise and Team Performance modules, are constantly deploying.
> What do subscribers get?
Subscribing gets you on the inside of the lab. You'll get write-ups on weird league trends, early access to tools we build, and data-backed observations that dive deeper than the box score.