top of page

5 Remarkably Dumb Hot Takes from the 2019 NFL Season

There is nothing better than seeing remarkably dumb hot takes fall completely and utterly flat.

Whether you're Adam "My Last Name is What I'm Bad At" Rank making his preseason picks that are about as accurate as his favorite NFL team's kicker, or you're Colin "I Have Everything I Need" Cowherd claiming that the Atlanta Falcons were going to take the league by storm thanks to 2nd year, Jack Daniels fueled offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian.

I just love a good, bold hot take.

See, I'm a guy who likes to try and let facts lead him to a particular conclusion, which is why I try to shy away from making predictions. I can tell you what is likely to happen, but it's always couched in a big 'ol "I could be completely wrong here" disclaimer.

I also see most "bold" predictions as nothing more than just click-baity opinion pieces that make for content gold. So, let's keep these going because I just love shitting all over bad predictions.

And, considering we are hopefully on the precipice of another NFL season, we are about to be inundated with a whole slew of new terrible predictions about the 2020 season.

So, let's wind the clocks back a year and see what the so-called "experts" were saying about the 2019 NFL season.

Skip Bayless picks the Cowboys to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl

In a move that surprised no one, and while sitting opposite of Shannon Sharpe, who accurately predicted the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl, Skip Bayless picked (yes) the Dallas Cowboys to lose to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LIV.

Now, not only did the Cowboys not even make the playoffs but they also finally cut bait with Jason Garrett and failed to definitively proved whether or not Dak Prescott is their long-term option at Quarterback.

After starting the season 3-0, Dallas once again disappointed Skip by losing 8 of their next 11 by a combined 48 points, despite having a +113 point differential on the season. Just for a little perspective, New Orleans had a +117 point differential on the season and secured the #3 seed in the playoffs because they don't suck.

The Cowboys were so bad at winning in 2019 that they had nearly 4x the point differential that the NFC East Champion Eagles did but still came in second in the division to said Santa-Hating Eagles.

Adam Schein at picks Baker Mayfield as an NFC North Champion and MVP Candidate

It's one thing to pick an MVP in the preseason and be wrong. It's entirely another thing to have the actual MVP turn out to be your pick's chief divisional rival.

As we know, the current iteration of the Cleveland Browns is technically an expansion team because the original Browns fled for Baltimore in the mid-nineties, and ever since Cleveland regained an NFL Franchise, they have been impossibly bad.

That is - it seemed - until Freddie Kitchens earned himself the head coaching gig based on nothing more than overseeing the offense over the course of a 5-3 stretch to close the 2018 season. Evidently, the Browns finishing 8-8 was somehow an indicator to the rest of the world that they would now be Super Bowl contenders.

The Browns went 6-10, finished 3rd in the Division, missed the playoffs, and Kitchens was fired.

As it turned out, Baker finished 2nd in the league in interceptions, and if it weren't for self-proclaimed "Greatest Quarterback in NFL History" Jameis Winston being completely incapable of not throwing the ball to the other team, Baker would have been your leader in the clubhouse.

John Breech at CBS Sports picks the Niners to finish sub-0.500

Now, this one is kinda tough, because nobody was really expecting the Niners to make the leap that they did in 2019, but this one makes the list simply because it almost couldn't possibly be further from reality.

The San Francisco 49ers stand as the class of the NFC. They have a legitimately terrifying defense and they have the ability to simply run over you on their way to a win. Their only significant weakness and their undoing in the Super Bowl was the uncertainty of Jimmy G's quarterbacking ability.

I don't blame John for being skeptical of the Niners going into the season though. They were coming off of four straight seasons where they did not win more than 6 games. Virtually no one saw this team going 13-3 on their way to a Super Bowl berth.

This prediction just seems to inaccurate not be to be recognized.

Chris Roling at Bleacher Report says Josh Rosen will "Make the Cardinals look silly"

I don't know what to make of Josh Rosen. We have seen such little tape of him at an NFL level it's kind of difficult to classify him as a bust. Then again, on second thought, maybe the lack of tape is an indication of him being a bust.

When I think of Rosen's situation in Arizona, I think that he is at least 15 years too young to have been supplanted by the young, hot-shot rookie draft pick. Think about it, Aaron Rodgers was drafted to replace Brett Favre when Favre was 36.

Arizona drafted Kyler Murray to replace Josh Rosen at the ripe old age of...22.

That said, it would appear that Mr. Roling would disagree with me, "the 22-year-old is bound to turn some heads after taking another step in the right direction." Now, if you consider 3 starts, 6 appearances, and backing up Ryan Fitzpatrick head-turning, then Chris was 100% accurate in his prediction.

Unfortunately, the current realm of the earth we find ourselves in is not ironic enough to put that sort of spin on Chris' prediction. In fact, I think it's safe to say that Arizona is just fine with their current QB situation.

Henry McKenna: "Antonio Brown [will] lead receivers in Touchdowns"

Again, I'm willing to give Hank (I don't actually know if he goes by Hank) McKenna a slight break on this one as he made this prediction prior to Brown getting cut. However, Reality was not kind to this particular take.

If you have not yet seen Urinating Tree's documentation of the Brown saga in Oakland, go ahead and give it the ol' spinneroo. It demands repeat viewing.

In what could go down as one of the greatest wastes of athletic talent ever, Antonio Brown has gone from 2018 Receiving TD leader in the prime of his career to unemployed Twitter loudmouth in less than 24 months.

This prediction would have been bold simply had Brown actually played in 2019, you know with the whole frost bitten feet thing, the whole Raiders offense sucking thing, and the whole - ya' know - helmet thing. Setting all of those things aside, not only did Brown not lead the NFL in Receiving TDs in 2019, he only had one - yes one - touchdown reception.

What bold, beautiful, and brave hot takes did we miss? Let us know in the comments. Also check us out on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

81 views0 comments
bottom of page